Kelly Gatewood: Military Life

Kelly Gatewood was not a Northerner.  It was plain to everyone in Tucker’s Diner that she was a visitor here.  It was only September but she wore a heavy jacket and gloves, which she kept on until tea was brought to her.  It was not until her breakfast of poached eggs with hollandaise sauce and fresh marbled bread with butter and blueberry jam arrived that she took her jacket off. 

Kelly Gatewood is from Mississippi.  She was born to blueberry farmers who called themselves hillbilly royalty, because of their distant relation to Napoléon Bonaparte.  Kelly only lived on the blueberry farm until she was eight; it was at that time that her father left the National Guard and started his active service in the Army. 

            “I can’t remember exactly how many times he was deployed,” Gatewood said.  “But he did five tours in the Middle East and a few others in Europe.” 

            Gatewood’s experience growing up was vastly different from her peers, whose parents were both physically present. 

            “He would be away for birthdays and holidays and recitals.  He would usually be gone for a year at a time.  We could call him when he was in Europe, but it was more difficult to get in touch with him while he was in the Middle East.”

            With international affairs on an ever changing, often volatile cycle, the military is a focus of the media.  The family members of those in service are also in the spotlight; but there is little to be said for the family relations after a military career is over.  For young adults like Kelly, whose father was away for much of her childhood, his retirement from the Army meant another big adjustment. 

            “I didn’t realize until he was home for good, how regular it had become for him to be away.” 

            Gatewood explained that her relationship with her father was still at the level it had been when she was a child; because he had been away so often, their relationship had not been able to develop. 

            “My relationship with my mom is much different; we are much closer,” Gatewood said.

            Kelly Gatewood’s childhood was one of long separations.  As she begins to navigate her twenties she is faced with the impact of those separations and is required to reevaluate her personal and familial identity.